Archive for June, 2011

Slow your roll.


[cue zombies]


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When we were all in the same geographic location, my family would drive me crazy.

Now I’m just kind of heart broken.

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I sometimes start using ghetto speak at work.


I should obtain some self-control.

(On more than just one level.)

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I forget if I said anything about this, but I’m going to explore different art forms over the summer. Well, the original intention was just to paint, but I realized that I had a lot more going for me than acrylics on canvas. I’ll play the guitar a little (Earplugs would be nice.), cook (Yes, cooking is an art! Ask Chef Gusteau.), write (I can do more than comedy!), and maybe something else I haven’t thought of yet.

It’ll be fun, for me at least. You may just want to blow your brains out after.

Summer of Art.

PS I’m feeling better. Happy, even. Maybe more importantly, I’m actively thinking, praying, and deciding — but I still don’t have an answer.

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Here we go again.

I’m always the fucking bad guy.

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There’s barely any time for a break, so I’m just going to soak up this morning, sit back, and breathe.

I wish that I could go to the beach (not at 4 AM waiting for that marine layer to clear out, mind you) and soak up the sun– what sun? Isn’t it supposed to be the summer right now? Oh, Los Angeles, your wonders never cease.

I guess I should appreciate the gloom since I hate the heat.

At some point, I want to take time, even if it’s just thirty minutes, to watch the sunrise or sunset or just soak up the world without having to worry about anything. Right now, I’m worried about everything, so this doesn’t count.

Drive, move out, move in, clean up, pack, drive more, dig in, drive back, work, travel, serve, school, work more, move out, move in, etc, etc.

Hello, summer.

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No regrets.

I’m halfway done with college! Sort of. I guess I can’t really say that until I finish summer school this year, but whatever. It’s been a challenging five days, so I’m gonna throw myself a bone and say I’m halfway done.

(Now doing the math…)
Seven quarters done with eight to go… Close enough. Hopefully I don’t fail any classes! I should avoid being near the Inverted Fountain, just in case.

It’s been an interesting quarter. Between selling banh mi full-time, working in the office part-time, moonlighting as part of a musical ensemble, studying (if you could call it that), amongst other things — I’m fairly proud of myself. Mistakes were made. My patience was tested. I may or may not have nearly combusted a few times.

But I have no regrets.

Which is good, considering how much I was lamenting just a few weeks ago. I was bitter about various things which will remain vague, but now I’m… less bitter? On some parts, I’ve managed to patch up the damage, and on others I’ve just grown distant from the topic. Which may be unhealthy, but that’s what happens.

So here comes summer after this debacle of a spring, bringing on a host of new challenges for me to face. Number one starts today: money. I have an intrinsic hatred for the stuff, but it’s unfortunately necessary for my survival. But anyway, I may have been a bit extravagant in my spending over the past six months… I mean, between the snowboarding trips and banh mi, I may have just dug a hole for myself.

Yes, I only calculated my budget today. (At least one of you will chastise me for this…) According to said budget, to say the least, I may be living a rather frugal life this summer. Go me.

I guess all of this lends itself to my second challenge, which is self-imposed: grow more mature. It’s so standard and blithe, isn’t it? I’m not even sure what I mean when I say that, but at the end of the summer, I want to be less of a baby and more of a grown-up. (Says I in childish vernacular.)

I remember when we were all fourteen and ready to grow up already, stomping around a high school campus as a freshman waiting for our driver’s license or the right to buy cigarettes. Then we all moved on from that, to college or something else, and suddenly we wanted to be young again. High school was easier than college, living under our parents’ roofs was easier than real life.

Real life. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I’ve gotten more of a taste of it than most university students my age. It’s nothing to be proud of really, but sometimes I hear what other people say and think, “That’s an answer from someone who hasn’t had to pay their own way through life.” I can’t say I’ve had to either with my near dependence on scholarships and loans, but I work a job that I got because I needed the money. For experience, too, sure, but most of it was money. I wouldn’t work if I didn’t have to. I guess it’ll pay off when I have four years of work experience under my belt straight out of college, but until then, it sucks to be part-time this, part-time that, part-time something else.

I realize that may have a frustrated or even bitter tone to it, but in reality, I’m fairly grateful. I’ve learned a lot from working and being impossibly occupied at all hours of the day, and I could even say that I look forward to being less busy once I graduate. Half way there, right?

As insane as my life is, at least I’m enjoying it.

PS I’ve made some minor changes to the blog. The “About” page has been refreshed, some things are gone, and a new biography page is underway that will hopefully be more readable — It should be interesting.

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