Archive for February, 2011

Jump in with both feet.

I’m always making important decisions at the last second.

But I suppose that’s when I operate at my best.

Still, it’s driving me a little crazy, and I’m too tired for this right now.



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Miracle mile.

There’s a house with all of the lights inside on, visible through curtained windows next to the front door. I recognize it as my old house, two residences ago — the last place I let myself call home and mean it. I come forth, from the inside, through the front door, revealing a moment of light shining upon the porch, gone in a short moment. I wander, away from home, into the darkened streets where the lights don’t shine and the air is cold. And as I pass each streetlamp, they slowly flicker to life — I walk away from my home sad, but knowing that one day I’ll come back.

It’s not time to settle. Nor will it ever be.

Talk about a serious drawback.

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Roses are red.

I got two special surprises on Valentine’s day, none of which involve me and a boy (just warning you ahead of time): a card from our Sproul Men’s Small Group and a rose from… Jesus? That’s what it says, anyway.

It was funny because at first I didn’t think the rose was real (Thought: Pssh, who has the budget to buy all of the BCF women real roses?), so I left it on my desk while I went to class. While I was gone, the rose went sad panda on me and started to droop by the time I came back (Thought: Oh, so it was real…), which drove me to immediately stick it in a half-full (Thought: I’m an optimist!) water bottle. I didn’t think it’d get any better because I did that, just that it wouldn’t die as quickly, but when I woke up this morning, my rose was upright again! :DDDD

Jesus is the best kind of boyfriend. Seriously.

(Thought: No, seriously, who the heck sent everyone these flowers?!)

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It’s a concept I got from the theatre group that I’m in, LCC. It stands for “I’ve got your back,” basically meaning that we have each others backs no matter what the circumstances.

And I really like that.

IGYB, readers. FYI :]

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Full circle.

Hands still raw with the faint smell of garlic, head barely in line with reality on this morning also known as a Monday afternoon, I am… a louse, to put it simply. I am lazy, with a million responsibilities looming over my head, I want nothing more than to blog and then play video games until my brain melts inside of my skull. I am exhausted, thought I slept for a good eleven hours, and wish it were possible for me to sleep more.


I’m sitting here, thinking, about what’s it’s like to be on the other side of the spectrum. To see someone come to Jesus. To be privileged enough to pray with them. To be a small part in introducing them to the Kingdom of God.

Jesus, it was You.

I’m humbled when I was afraid to be prideful because I know just how much I screwed up, how I was ill-prepared and sometimes had no idea what I was saying or doing. And that’s how I know that this is God’s work, not mine. That’s how I know I was supposed to be there, in that moment, to watch, observe, as the Lord did work in someone’s heart and to know that she is His.

Is this what it’s like to feel unadulterated joy for someone else? I hope it is, because I’m happy, delighted, excited in a dozen different ways at the same time. I want everything for her that I was lucky enough to have — community, friendship, Jesus. This is just the beginning. Even if I’m tired and worn down to my core, I know that God continues to work. Continues to heal. Continues to be the God that I know He is, for me and for the world.

“We have seen amazing things.”

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